I know that my blog that was to be about the beauty, the love and the inspirational has been taken over lately by my despair, grief, disbelief and shock. I know that I cannot begin to understand who is really responsible, which side is to blame, who really is the bad guy. All I know is this destruction of the beautiful natural world is like a piece of hell dropped out of the sky, plunk, death. I have spiritual friends tell me to let it go, it is not my battle and that I need to stay in my bliss, in my joy, in the now, but sorry folks I can’t. I guess I didn’t pass the test.
How can someone who deeply loves this beautiful garden of a planet that God made as a special home for us, how can I not feel sorrow for what is happening in the gulf? One of my best friends, Earth, Nature is in great distress, crying out in pain. I just cannot believe that our greed and lust has driven us to this. I knew that we would have to face many things in these changing days but I don’t know how God can let this happen, how if He cares can he stand it? It all seems so surreal as if I am watching a horror movie, and I never did want to watch any of those.
I in my darkest hour said to a friend of mine that I feel free to discuss such matters with, “I think God has given up on us.” She replied back to me, “ Oh don’t say that Tren, he has not given up on us he is just bringing us to the end of ourselves.” I cannot quite digest what that means, but at least it gives hope of this having a purpose, a meaning and oh how I do want there to be a very good reason why any person, any animal, any small piece of plankton would ever have to go through something like this.
The un-fine truth lies stark at me feet now and it is that the people in control, They Don’t Care About Us, Michelle Jackson had it right in the song that he was practicing before he died, titled the same, They Don’t Care About Us! And if we feel snug because we are a fair distance from this disaster I read one fellow from the gulf put it this way, “watch how they treat us, learn how they’ll treat you.” It is like wow, we are here, the doomsayers were right, the common man, the common dolphin, we are just little ants that they brush aside.
I have been crying out to God for some understanding. I am angry, what do I do with this anger? I cannot stay in my bliss, I must do something. I have been wanting to meditate, to pray, find that quiet place, but I have been sick and unable to get there. Something a friend said helped me and it was something like, “love in big ways and in small ways. DO not fall prey to the ways of the world... " live in it but do not be of it" The world has been falling apart for some time and we know that... a piece at a time it is falling apart, from chaos comes creation.” And she reminded me that my job is to love. Ultimately that is all of our jobs, to keep loving through it all.
Another friend says, “My feeling is that remarks like yours (Tren and Joy) ... and millions of others ... ( and I insert here, Kindra) will help lift human awareness to a different level ... soul conditions can change and will change as we bring to each other our thoughts and feelings about situations like the Gulf of Mexico.”
And my husband said, “I think the only way to keep sane is to believe there is a plan...and everything is part of the plan.” And by this he means a plan by a Supreme Being who can see the whole picture.
Did it take a disaster of this proportion and magnitude to spur the changes that we need to make in our hearts? I don’t believe people realize the depth of this yet. We are on our toughest lessons now human race, will we learn?! Turn the tv off, forget the latest survivor show, realize that we are already acting in the biggest survivor show of all, and the stage is Planet Earth.