Monday, June 28, 2010

Does God Even Care?

"You can believe that God is watching and waiting to see what man will do...He will have the last word and He will repair the damage. These same types of people took our Lord and beat Him beyond recognition, put a crown of thorns on His head and then crucified Him...But he was resurrected. He now waits for the right time to return and set up His Kingdom. He will resurrect the earth and it will be as if none of this ever happened....It is a bad dream. We will one day awaken in new bodies on a new earth. All tears will be wiped away!" Patty Rife

Playing For Change Band: A Change Is Gonna Come (live)

I love these guys and boy don't they sing it. Those of us who are up there in years can so relate, " Its been a long time comin." We have been waiting for these years to come for a long, long time, here we are. We gotta go the last mile home. "Its been too hard, living." "theres been a time that I felt that I couldn't carry on oh but now I know I'm still able to carry on. OH, its been a long time coming. Change is gonna come."

The Gush in the Golf

I know that my blog that was to be about the beauty, the love and the inspirational has been taken over lately by my despair, grief, disbelief and shock. I know that I cannot begin to understand who is really responsible, which side is to blame, who really is the bad guy. All I know is this destruction of the beautiful natural world is like a piece of hell dropped out of the sky, plunk, death. I have spiritual friends tell me to let it go, it is not my battle and that I need to stay in my bliss, in my joy, in the now, but sorry folks I can’t. I guess I didn’t pass the test.

How can someone who deeply loves this beautiful garden of a planet that God made as a special home for us, how can I not feel sorrow for what is happening in the gulf? One of my best friends, Earth, Nature is in great distress, crying out in pain. I just cannot believe that our greed and lust has driven us to this. I knew that we would have to face many things in these changing days but I don’t know how God can let this happen, how if He cares can he stand it? It all seems so surreal as if I am watching a horror movie, and I never did want to watch any of those.

I in my darkest hour said to a friend of mine that I feel free to discuss such matters with, “I think God has given up on us.” She replied back to me, “ Oh don’t say that Tren, he has not given up on us he is just bringing us to the end of ourselves.” I cannot quite digest what that means, but at least it gives hope of this having a purpose, a meaning and oh how I do want there to be a very good reason why any person, any animal, any small piece of plankton would ever have to go through something like this.

The un-fine truth lies stark at me feet now and it is that the people in control, They Don’t Care About Us, Michelle Jackson had it right in the song that he was practicing before he died, titled the same, They Don’t Care About Us! And if we feel snug because we are a fair distance from this disaster I read one fellow from the gulf put it this way, “watch how they treat us, learn how they’ll treat you.” It is like wow, we are here, the doomsayers were right, the common man, the common dolphin, we are just little ants that they brush aside.

I have been crying out to God for some understanding. I am angry, what do I do with this anger? I cannot stay in my bliss, I must do something. I have been wanting to meditate, to pray, find that quiet place, but I have been sick and unable to get there. Something a friend said helped me and it was something like, “love in big ways and in small ways. DO not fall prey to the ways of the world... " live in it but do not be of it" The world has been falling apart for some time and we know that... a piece at a time it is falling apart, from chaos comes creation.” And she reminded me that my job is to love. Ultimately that is all of our jobs, to keep loving through it all.

Another friend says, “My feeling is that remarks like yours (Tren and Joy) ... and millions of others ... ( and I insert here, Kindra) will help lift human awareness to a different level ... soul conditions can change and will change as we bring to each other our thoughts and feelings about situations like the Gulf of Mexico.”
And my husband said, “I think the only way to keep sane is to believe there is a plan...and everything is part of the plan.” And by this he means a plan by a Supreme Being who can see the whole picture.

Did it take a disaster of this proportion and magnitude to spur the changes that we need to make in our hearts? I don’t believe people realize the depth of this yet. We are on our toughest lessons now human race, will we learn?! Turn the tv off, forget the latest survivor show, realize that we are already acting in the biggest survivor show of all, and the stage is Planet Earth.

BP Oil Spill Insider at the Gulf Emergency Summit (1)

OK so this was removed by the user it says, Well I didn't remove it, reposted it at the top of the page.

Kindra You have so much courage

Kindra Arneson, speaking out from the gulf.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

As The Earth Bleeds

"The Dwarves dug too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dum... shadow and flame." Saruman, The Lord of the Rings

I just cannot believe that this is being allowed to go on and on. This is not just yet another spill which nature can detoxify from this is an open wound. Yet in the pictures that I have seen on the web at the scene of this tragedy there are only a tiny few boats which they say are scooping up oil?

It is only a show. If those few, little boats are scooping up oil and you can still see oil like long red snakes swarming into the water why is not the ocean full of ships scooping up oil? They say they are going to clean this up. There is no cleaning this up, this has not even stopped. Why isn’t the whole world out there stopping this?

This affects our whole world. When the hurricane season arrives, which it will soon, all those miles and miles of big black clouds full of chemicals that they keep fueling are going to blow inland. Hurricane Ike blew rain all the way from this same Gulf of Mexico to my little Ohio and rained down a few years ago. Every time I pick a berry, listen to a bird or admire a flower now I wonder if this muck that we have created is going to rain down on me and mine. The thing is, it is all me and mine, this is our world that we are destroying for the mighty Lord Dollar.

That the outcome of this is being left up to BP blows my mind, obviously they don’t care! All they care about is how much money they are going to make. Any illusions I might have had that there was a big brother out there watching out for us is now gone. The gulf should be packed with the best minds in the world to solve this rupture.

It breaks my heart to think that those who work only from self interest, those whose hearts are filled with greed and have no understanding of the fact that what they do to the earth they do to themselves, these spiritual children are going to be allowed to kill our earth. So many people think that we are going to get raptured out of here so we won’t need the earth anyway. You know what, I just don’t think I could be happy in heaven if I knew that I had any part, ( by my lifestyle?) in contributing to rape and death of this beautiful planet earth, I just don’t think I could ever get over that.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

In Thy presence is fullness of joy; at Thy right
hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:11

IN the Lord's presence, no matter where we are, is
fullness of joy. Let us cultivate the Lord's acquaintance
more, drawing near to Him in prayer, in the study of
His precious Word, in meditation upon all His goodness,
His providential care, the marked manifestations
of His grace in our own individual experiences, and
His precious promises which are all yea and amen in
Christ Jesus. Thus "draw nigh to God, and He will
draw nigh to you" (James 4:8); He will manifest Himself
to you and take up His abode with you.
It is indeed the will of God that all His children
should be happy in Him, that they should be always
rejoicing; and if any one lack this blessing, he is living
below his privileges.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Lover of my Soul

Sometimes God is referred to as a lover, the lover of our souls, and what a lover he is. He is a very observant lover, He knows what we like, he knows what we need, he knows what we yearn to hear. He leaves love notes on our path and is always whispering sweet murmurings into our ears if we but listen. I would like tell you about one of my latest love caresses that I have received from my Lover Supreme.

I tended a dear old rabbit for a week but he finally died, he was so brave. I was sad of course and feeling the rawness that life can give when you have looked death in the face one more time. I buried Floppy and said a little prayer about him eating in greener pastures before I came into the house and asked my husband what he was reading. He was reading from a book called Earth Prayers which is a collection of prayers and poems.

He said that he was reading a poem by Wendell Berry. He went on to something else and I sat down and since I really like Wendell Berry’s writings I browsed through the book looking for Wendell’s poem. I found it and read it and was surprised that it was about death and it put into exact words just how I was feeling at that moment.

“bitter to face the just and solving welcome that death prepares. But that is bitter only to the ignorant, who pray it will not happen. Having come the bitter way to better prayer, we have the sweetness of ripening.” Wendell Berry

I mentioned this coincidence to my husband later and he said that the poem he read was not about death. So I discovered that there was more than one Wendell Berry poem in the book but The Lover of my Soul had placed it so that when I picked it up the pages of the book opened to the poem that soothed my soul at the exact moment that I needed them. What Lover could do more?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Strawberry Sharing Time, Time to Play

I love old books. I found this line in one.

"Play is just as essential to the mature woman as it is to the four-year-old. A change is play. Something that takes you entirely away from the routine of your work. Look up your old, almost lost ambition and make it your fad to occupy your play or leisure hours."

The Women of Forty, copyright 1919, E.B. Lowry M.D.

Still good advice, hey?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Early Morning Mist

Early morning is one of my favorite times of the day. It is a time of day that God beckons and gives the urge to me to go out into the garden. Just to be there when the sun first comes up over Farmer School’s woodlot and to witness the birds sing the morning into existence. They seem to put their whole hearts into their songs.

The morning air is so pure and cool, the grass so dewy wet under my bare feet and all the heat and troubles of yesterday seem to have been washed away. The new day is fresh and just uncurling from the darkness of the night. The light is still misted with water vapors rising to melt into the sun.

There have been mornings when I sleep in and miss this special time. There have been mornings when I have thought of some document that I need to look up on the computer and instead of going outside I open up my laptap which I use on the kitchen table. But alas, this window faces east and the glare from the rising sun makes it so that I cannot see the screen and I feel like the sun is mocking me and saying, “you are suppose to be out here!” And so I am.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

When the Earth Groans

The Native Americans believe that the oil is the blood of the earth. If so, Mother Earth is hemorrhaging. And she IS our Mother, Even the bible says that we were made from the dust of the earth that he formed and blew his spirit in. She feeds us, she waters us and we are like spoiled children who take all that we can get from her while she lies dying.

this was in Sojourners regarding the oil spill and spoke to me.

"For those of you who feel overwhelmed by the images you see and the stories you hear, I want to challenge you to participate in the spiritual act of listening and discernment. Take an image of the contamination of creation and meditate on it. Romans 8:22 says the whole earth groans. Can you hear it? Read or listen to the story of a person whose livelihood has been destroyed or who died on the oil rig. In 1 Corinthians 12:26, we read that if one part of the body suffers, every part suffers with it. Can you feel the suffering? Listen and pray. Act and sacrifice. Change and be transformed. First we listen, then we decide what we will sacrifice in service, action, and even lifestyle. And only then will we change."

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Cloaked Knotty-Horn Beetle

I have grown elderberry bushes for years but this is the first time I have ever seen this beetle. Nature always has a new surprise! I did a google search and it is an Elderberry Borer which they believe only feed on elderberry bushes. They lay their eggs near the base of the plant, where the larvae hatch to bore into the elder's hollow stems and follow them down to feed on the roots. They look really pretty when they are in flight, although they fly rather awkwardly. When I have time I hope to try and catch one traveling for the camera. Blue and orange, what a colorful beetle!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Twins, Joy and Sorrow 1

I have known joy and I have known sorrow, and if I have learned anything about either one of them it is that no matter which one you are experiencing the other one will always come back round again.

Spring has grown up and turned into summer. Some of her flowers she has shed, others she still sprouts. Mostly, she likes to dress herself in green. The roadsides hereabouts look as if they will turn into a jungle any day now, lined as they are with wild hemlock 10 foot tall and reaching. I hate to see as I drive past the Ralston factory how they have sprayed the hemlock that grows by their entrance and now the plants turn dead while red-winged black birds still perch on the lifeless, leftover limbs. How much more would it have cost to weed whip the bank? And the fringed blue wild flower that was just beginning to bloom on the railroad tracks are now thus murdered also.

Oh, if only each human could learn to care. Yet even I try not to care when I hit a ground hog as I am driving in the car and he lies dead on the road. I don’t want to feel it! Us humans are so busy already that we don’t want to have to worry about every little thing, ground hogs, mist-flowers and blackbirds. There is already so much sorrow to feel.

The Twins, Joy and Sorrow

The daylilies and the alfalfa in the field are shrouded beneath tall swaying grasses. Something got into the chicken house and killed a broody hen to get to her eggs, fox, possum, coon? It seems so awful yet don’t we do the same, kill, or eat what has been killed, to eat?

The yard is full of butterflies, some so beautiful and strange that I try to take their picture and memorize their features to look them up in the field guide, but they are too elusive. The wind blows them away or Laddy touches them with his nose and they go dancing on behind the barn. I love the blue ones, I believe they are Blue Azures. They are the bluest of blues! Purple used to be my favorite color but blue has somehow slipped in, but still I like it best if it hints of purple.

The Blue Azure does that, flirts with purple, a little of it lingers there amidst the blue of its wings. How did it get so lucky, to be a butterfly with velvet looking wings? I wish I had put a request in for that instead of being human. Don’t we all feel that way sometimes when we are immersed in sorrow? At times like these we must insist on remembering that joy is waiting just around the corner for her turn to flutter into our life again.

Monday, June 7, 2010

From The Secret Life of Bees

"She reminded me that the world was really one big bee yard. and the same rules worked fine in both places: Don't be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, don't be an idiot; wear long sleeves and long pants. Don't swat. Don't even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agittes, ...while whistling melts a bee's temper. Act like you know what your're doing, even if you don't. Above all, send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved." August the beekeeper in The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kid